FLUID IN THE CRUST

FLUID IN THE CRUST

I wander-crawl through a labyrinth of old stone passages.

Scared with heart pounding, I don’t turn back.

Emerge from an old stone fireplace that smells of dusty age.

This place has phantoms so thick they infuse you.

I’ve been here before, and return again.

Won’t you come along?

It won’t be long,



It’s a castle, a mansion, a cabin.

In a marsh, the woods, the field,

The mountains, the hills, the plains.

It has stood for ages.

It has encompassed all dread.

It has absorbed all fear.

It has distorted and fucked every joy.

Won’t you come along?

It doesn’t care if you do,

But you’re welcome to.



The rooms are bare

They feel full

Air thick with phantoms

So thick you can’t see

Like a dry fog.

The wooden floors are rotted and soft

But the dry moisture only whispers your footfalls.

Each step dreadfilled and heavy.

Each direction a rusted dagger into your brain.

Through a doorway we go again.

Another room, another time, another memory.

I’m feeling fine and relish the pox

The curse that floods over you warms a trembling soul.

Come on along. Won’t you?

It won’t be long.

We won’t be long.

Its never long.

Climb a set of stairs that should hold no weight,

But always does.

No, you can’t run! Just try!

See? Same speed every time,

And always

Dread behind

Dread ahead.

This room housed a corpse.

Dying horribly and decaying slowly.

Its almost gone now

A sinister potpourri.

Ignite that shit like incense and hang out.

There are more rooms and more levels

More passages and more halls.

Great halls!

Where the dead had a feast!

Where servants toiled with yeast!

The special pies were a must.

There’s fluid in the crust.

I’m on a blow-back mission, man.

Got 54 rooms to go.

Don’t be scared.

Come on along.

Even the ghosts are gone.

The phantoms though remain.

Always thick as thieves.

They’ll become dear.

They’ll coat you like sweat.

They’ll drive you mad if you let them.

Wander with them and suck in the pain.

Stabs your brain, dares to make you insane.

So come on in sane.

Won’t you come along?

It won’t be long. I promise an oath.

It’s a journey and adventure

A revelation and consternation.

Come on along!

It won’t be long.

It’ll be forever.

PAST WRITING

Originally titled: One Month Away
Originally written:  Circa 3/1/2012
Just discovered 4/21/2012.
Justtification for dragging it out now:  Looking around my fucking blog site! GEEZE!  Bet I could throw this fucking laptop over that mountain.



Groundhog day has sort of taken a turn. For me it now includes the addition of my regular job coming back into the picture. It was a mildly difficult adjustment. I had to quickly teach myself to completely turn off any type of worry or thoughts of the restaurant so I could use all my mental resources where they belong at the time. I have that balanced out pretty good now.

I figure Sis must still feel trapped in the land of Groundhog Day; as the cafe is the ONLY thing she still must focus on day in and day out. Everyone else has an escape.

A funny aspect of this wild ride is how Sis and I tend to slide into our own panic modes when business is slow for a day or two, and how we're ready to unfurl flags and strike up the band when the tide turns toward the better.

The cafe itself is way too small for what we would like to be doing. Dreadfully small. ... Actually... So fucking small that I find myself just short of screaming to be able to implement what I would like in this business. I have a better bead on what we are now truly capable of accomplishing, though I still have my doubts on occasion that we'll keep up this momentum. I find those doubts slowly fading though.

Everyone brings something to the table. What is brought to the table by everyone is almost always for the passion of making the business a success. Literal blood, sweat and tears have been invested. The exhausting work feels good though. Pure. Our attitudes are in the right place in that our goal is to provide for and be a part of the community that sustains our business. It is a pleasure and a priority to serve to the best of our ability.

Now... All of this I mention ...

(I do not know the original text that followed this.)

Come listen to a story 'bout a joint that's dead...

Poor Mountaineers
Won't keep their belly's fed.

But every day
They're lookin' for some gruel,
And over to Mt. Top they run like fools!

Swill, that is.
Black canned shit.
Texas toast.

Well next thing you know
The gang's dyin' over there.
Last sibling cries
Whatchoo doin' over there!

New Jersey remains
The place I oughta be!
One day I'm loadin' up the truck
And fucking this HILLBILLY!

LAND that is!
History!
ADIOS!
Soon to be His Story!
... ... ... why... Certain-LEE!

GREETINGS!!!! YOU CRAZY SUM BITCHES!!!

Hangin' in there.
I like that.
Don't care what I say or what its about.  Just diggin the shit.  S'cool.

I didn't plan on doing a song parody or poem or anything when I sat down here... Just planned on doing some old school writing as it comes to mind and then posting it.  Damned if that loose stool above isn't what came right the fuck out!  HEE!  Yaya!

The followers on here now must surely be few and very far between... That's ok though... because I also know a straggler or two also pop on here from time to time by accident... and thats also cool.

So let's see where this goes shall we?  I've got a nice Guinness Stout and a freshly cracked bottle of Jack... sipped slowly over ice in the most perfect cocktail glass (Thank you Grove's Harley Davidson of Winchester, VA!)... an evening off and a mind full of backed up shit a heavy duty plumber's snake couldn't budge!

First off... Couple shout outs for bad or worse:
1.  Cee-Lo, stick w. the Gnarls days.
2.  Dollar General - I haven't forgotten your shit charcoal.
3.  Big Purple lives!
4.  Fruit O The Loom Womb Flume DOOM!... I ain't never had so many fucking white t-shirts in my life!
5.  Snow - Go fuck youself.
6.  Cats n' females... (see #5) ... sorry.
7.  Ice Cream!  Yeah boyee!!!
8.  Mr. Death... yeah... you see #5 too, m'kay!

Right... enough of that.... I could keep on going.

OH!  There's so fucking much up here! 

I was outside raking earlier... which is a rarity because I AM NEVER FUCKING HOME ANYMORE!!!  (My own choice... my own choice...)  ...and, there was this really cool vision (imaginative I do believe) where something came strolling (always strolling... strolling is so cool... so BOSS) out of the woods and interacted with me.  It was pleasurable, but unfortunately I can't recall what the fuck went on... I'm just mentioning it because it was special.  (Note:  It was not any of the gang who live back there.)

SO!

I got this cafe'.  Got this little ditty of a cafe in Romney, West fucking Virgin-I-AE!
COULD be a gold mine of a place... MAYBE even where its at!  I doubt it, but I think it could.
Ain't happenin' though.
Lets say you're an aspiring painter, and all they give you to work with is:
Berries
Snot
Poo-Poo (from humans and various animals)
Spinach
Cottage Cheese
Now you have to create works of art that people in Romney, West fucking Virgin-I-AE will appreciate.

Not gonna happen.

Not getting it?
Need s'mo' comparisonsesisez?
Ok...

So, like, you're this engineer... but all you have to work with to create Rome's sewer system is:
Rotting badger head.
Burnt stick.
Red herring.

You getting this?

Suppose we build this large wooden badger...

Yo yo!!!  Hold on... I'm sick of even talking about that fucking cafe'... I'm tired. Dog tired. I'm cursed with a hyper-sensitive inquisitiveness that never consciously shuts down... So all I can do is teach myself to ignore observances constantly.  No shit.  Its fucking crazy.  It has perhaps gotten worse over the years.  So when you invest your soul into something (ain't no other way to do it, baby!) and things start looking askew to you, you often have (for the better good) to just look away ("just walk-away").  The stress of that act, however, builds... as stress has a tendency to do... Unless you're a boring moron who dwells in it...  complacency. 
Such a silly place... complacency.  I've personally contemplated it.  ... No, dear reader(s).  Venture not into that fucked up fetid lair!  (Yeah yeah... I used "fetid"... sometimes you just gotta pull it out... overused or not.)

What is coooool about the cafe?  (It sure as fuck ain't the non-existent ventilation!):
Saturday mornings with the boyz and Siruis XM's BPM.
Jam packed tables and a frantic cooking area (snicker).
Turning off the OPEN sign after a Becks and a day of +$$$ (undisclosed amount)!
Courthouse Corner Cafe' After Dark!

So that's about it bru's and sis's...

Bru's...

Got a few of them still...
Don't see my real one (brutha) much anymore...  That's totally fucked up.  Don't  blame him much.  I'd run for the fucking hills too from our bunch.)

So frankly.. The evening didn't give much in the line of entertainment did it?

Here in the Darkgarden... It often doesn't.
It often brings forth shit you'd rather keep in the shadowed corner with the dust bunnies, and the shit that lurks, always lurks, in the dead of night over your thoughts...

For now... Take this and go...  Perhaps more lata'... Perhaps not... (Mayhap it is... Mayhap it ain't!)...T
That's it friend(FOE) (s) ... Take one...

Hike... Long Pier... Tall cliff... Go...

and...

ya know...

say it with me...

PISS OFF!

The Cafe' Opening

I don't know how long I'll write here, but feel I should ramble on a bit for posterity in this short documentation of a minuscule business opening in a small insignificant (except for us residents) town in the middle of nowhere.

Stress and sleepless nights leading up to the opening were ridiculous for me, and because of the excitement (for bad or good) there was hardly any sleep on the opening eve.

What followed was a complete nightmare - for me, personally.

Its funny as I write this - and I spoke with Sis last night about this on the way to my house - I realize how much my mind has shut out from the first day. So I'm not quite sure I can capture the nuances of the day in whole.

Overall the day went extremely well from a business perspective. By the end of the day, however, I found myself spent physically, mentally and emotionally. I mean 100% emptied-the-fuck OUT! I observed my sister's fatigue as well, which only led me to further dismay.

Opening day sucked.

Then it became Groundhog Day. (The movie... not just the date.)

Every day its a wake up at 3:30 and in to the restaurant until 8 p.m. or later. Then the drive home and a straight crawl into bed (after kicking the cat and cussing out the bird, of course). Wake up and do it again.

I've personally discovered (as I feel Sis, Dirt and Snowboyz have) a new level to fatigue hitherto unknown to most of mankind.

I feel today is almost party day - though a lonely one - as we shut down early due to a strange combination of weather, Sunday and Super-Bowl. (This ended up being a mistake as after the last group was leaving and everything was shut down, cleaned and sterilized, more people started to wander in! So lessons learned on that one. We now know to stay open almost as late on Sundays.

So tonight I'm sitting here trying to make sense and catch up while watching Super Bowl commercials (I write during the game). I'll be in bed in a bit anyway, as I'm dying for a full night's sleep.

Now... A special SHOUTOUT to the Snowboyz who have donated countless hours in order to help get this business off the ground. They say they're having a good time (actually, everyone has indicated they are having a good time except me), but I don't think they realize the amount of labor and just plain morale they bring to the cafe' environment. Their presence at the front counter is more than pleasant and I'm sure they have greatly added to the appeal of the place as much as the great food and stupendous management! (HEEE!)

No pics... and no send-off sarcasm for you this time.

Countdown sequence...

I thought I'd take a moment and check in with my dear reader(s). Things have been extremely stressful and hectic regarding the opening of the Courthouse Corner Cafe'. If ever there was a food business focused on the correct concerns prior to an opening, it is this one.

Everything has been revolving around keeping the quality as high as absolutely possible, while maintaining an appropriately projected cash flow. Though it often times leads to verbal blows between Sis, Dirt and myself, the balance seems to be working as we all have contributions, views and concerns from different angles. Our skins get thicker and we trudge forward toward the dream.

Tonight has me in a different work-mode. Usually after my regular job in the evenings, I do research, crunch numbers, make orders and generally stress out. Sis has been keeping up with the test-kitchen and recipe side of things, which has been a God-Send! (Can I get a mu-fuckin' GAWD BOMB here?!! Laws yes!) I haven't had to do shit with the testing up to now... This evening, I had to break down my chili recipe, alter it some for regular people to eat (as opposed to those like my brother and I who like a little chili with our helping of hot sauces and spicing), and then ... (AHH!)... write it down.

Yeah! I had to write down how I make chili. Its usually one of those meals that is made different every time... So this was tough for me. (Especially making a mild recipe.) However, it was quickly done, and easier than I thought. It was also a nice break from the regular evening of figures and fretting.

There was an interesting side-incident that took place today that involved the arrival of the commercial Panini grill... It involved burning off the bees wax coating that is on the grill surface. I fired the bad-boy up and it was soon smoking like crazy. It was smoking like... well... like a commercial Panini grill with a shit load of bees wax on it.

Now not having a venting system... The entire cafe was soon engulfed in its own fog. I guess, in retrospect, after reading this as I type it, its really not that interesting. It was, however, GAWD awful funny at the time. Especially watching Sis and Dirt try to concentrate on a food order while I pranced around the cafe ever filling with fumes.

So, here we are, with about a week to go before the opening.

I feel I shall pee myself.

Can a brutha' get a mu-fuckin' Gawd-Bomb for peeing himself?! Laws yes!

Naa... No pics today... Gotta go play w. my chili now... So... Go on...

Shoo.

Licenses! Paperwork! ... Those sudden zoning costs!!!

I've read a couple books, talked to people, did a large amount of online research in order to prepare for the current adventure I'm sort of chronicling here.

The latest surprise was my quote for a monthly fee from the accountant.

$500.00 - per month.

Yeah. It even deserved its own paragraph. It is times such as that when one realizes the meaning of cliches such as "falling out of his chair" and "like a strike to the head" and the growing line, "He fell dead right there in front of the lady who just told him $500.00 per month."

It is at these sickening (for they truly are gut-wrenching, sickening moments) times that I wonder and become amazed at how perfectly and thoroughly the government and supporting businesses (undoubtedly driven by the same operation costs) suck you as dry as humanly possible as you try to succeed.

As one may view their journal, I hope to some day look or think back to this entry, and realize how silly I was being, or how weak I was. I've surpassed points where in the past I would have fled back into comfort, but I feel out of my element and quite defensive. (Yes, more than I usually am.)

Now this is strange too, as I think I'm on the verge of discovering (perhaps rediscovering is the correct word) what a positive attitude and approach to things is like, even in the face of anything to the contrary. I'm not there yet, and at times I feel it pulling my fucking head apart, but there is something happening upstairs in the noodle factory.

So with all that in mind (as I hadn't planned on rambling about my head), I now turn back toward those sudden accounting fees. I gave a shout out to Sis who should be able to take care of most of the accounting, and feel a little more comfortable that some medium ground can be had, and that the business will not have to fork out that ridiculous amount each month. A business that only has, really, one full time fucking employee, and that person is my sister, the co-owner! COME ONNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

So I should be heading over to the cafe' shortly to meet up w. Sis and Dirt to do some more work on the place. I think I enjoy those times most. When I can just do some work and see something physical getting done, instead of writing checks and filling out forms and not seeing a goddamn thing for it.

So here was are reader(s). We're in the waning days before an actual opening. Things are starting to move quickly. Stress is rising as is some excitement. I will try to keep you (all) posted on the progression.

...K... ... ... go-on...

Piss off.

Painting Drum Beat On Walls

No, its not an attempt at a clever title. It is what me, the Snowboyz and Heir (put number here) spent the evening working on.

The cafe needed a little more pizazz so the administration decided to get a color close to the counter tops. It was a no-brainer when the color "Drum Beat" was discovered to be close enough.

"Drum Beat" is also the most unforgiving color I have ever worked with in my life. I was hoping that today it would look much better then it did last night. However, its in bad shape. It will take another coat or two (which I'm planning to work on tomorrow night). Overall you can already see how much warmer and inviting the place is. So I don't regret the decision.

The past couple of days saw some major advances. Here's the quick run down (as we continue to document the ups and DOWNS.... DOWNS DOWNS DOWNS... DOWNY DOWN DOWN... Morrrton DOWNey Jr.... DOWNsyndrom!... DOWNNNNN town, things'll be great when you're DOWNNN town!... ... ... there's been a lot of DOWNS!)...but ah!.. the runDOWN:
-FEIN comes in.
-Last major banking transaction takes place.
-Application in and paid to health dept.
-Nice, beautiful, new restaurant equipment ordered (via Dirtman, aka Dirtymon!) (this also being the most exciting shit so far!)
-New coat of paint and a slightly new look (almost).
-Inventory completed.

So, not a bad few days progress-wise. Most of the time I don't feel this way, but this evening all is cool.

So kiddies, thats it in our series that may be titled: Why To Stay The Fuck Away From Starting Your Own Business, but would rather see: This Is The Reason I Listened To The Few Positive People In My Life.