But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm
The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
Greetings reader(s).
This weekend, in a rare burst of jovial holiday spirit, I popped on the classic Christmas song channel on DISH, and commenced to decorate a tree I had purchased the day before.
I gotta tell you, I was feeling downright good. Was really enjoying the day.
Great part of the festivities was watching my boyz walk in the door and looking at me like Ebenezer Scrooge’s house-maid looked at him the morning after he woke up realizing he hadn’t missed Christmas (and the spirits had done it all in one night).
I exacerbated their confusion by yelling, just a little too loudly, cheers of Christmas greetings and merriment. (Ala Jimmy Stewart.)
Once the laughing was over, they (and their friend they brought along – who is also used to my eccentric performances) settled down in peaceful comfort; Lucas napping soundly in front of the fire while Trev and friend settled in to some World Of Warcraft.
All was right with the world… UNTIL…. Let It Snow came on.
Ella Fitzgerald was cranking it out, so there was that amount of respect going on, and I didn’t think too much on it until… I thought about it…. And…. Realized…
Whoever it was (I didn’t attribute it to Ella. She was just singing about the act), but whoever it was… Brought some corn for poppin’.
Some chick…. Brought Some FUCKIN' Corn For Poppin.
I don’t know what snapped inside of me at that point, but the entire song took on a whole dark theme. Understand, however, that normally I would rejoice at such an event.
That day, as today, it was not welcome, and now has slid into the concept of funny. So I’m now going to drag this poor, simple song through the garden… because I can!
Right.
So… Here we go…
Let It Snow
Obviously the weather is starting to suck outside, and this chick singing away is noting this, but also singing the praises of the fellow’s interior setting. (She's diggin' his fire, and fine rugs and furnishings.) Also adding her own chant to make the weather grow in intensity.
“It doesn’t show signs of stopping…”
So now she’s a meteorologist and is working her wicked wiles on the poor fellow.
AND! This is where it all goes south:
“I’VE BROUGHT SOME CORN FOR POPPING.”
People (or person… or… just me re-reading this next year), I ask you to explain why the fuck this woman decided to bring along some corn for popping!
Can you do it?!
What was she doing sneaking in some fucking snack into the house that would require preparation and some sort of ritual to prepare? VERY presumptuous, says I!!!
“The lights are turned way down low.”
They are?!
By who?!!
So now she’s also walking around the house turning lights off?
It seems so! About the same time she starts that weather chant again about the weather building its fury.
“When we finally kiss goodnight, How I’ll hate going out in the storm…”
Yeah? Too bad!
At this point the poor fellow has GOT to be thinking he’s doomed.
She pulls out a tricky line next with, “But if you really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm.”
Hmm… Does this chick think I’M going out in that cold shit WITH her???!!! She’s outta her damn mind!
“The fire is slowly dying…” Our poor man is really pissed at this point, because while she was walking around the house turning off lights and chanting for bad weather, she couldn’t get her lazy ass to toss a fuckin’ log into the fireplace?
Of course not. Our prima-donna wouldn’t dream of lifting a finger to help keep the place warm! She’s too busy toting corn around that the poor son-of-a-bitch has to pop for her now!!!
“But as long as you love me so…”
WHAT?!!!
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE, TAKE YOUR CORN, AND TAKE YOUR DAMN VAMPIRIC CLAWS OUTTA MY BACK!!!
OH! AND IF YOU’RE GONNA THROW SHIT AT ME, MAKE IT A CHUNK OF WOOD SO I CAN GET MY FUCKIN’ FIRE GOING AGAIN! BITCH!
Ok. So that’s what ran through my head when I heard the song and decided to analyze what it was about.
I asked some people around work today about their thoughts about the gal bringing some corn for popping. Some (ok… FEW) saw my point. Most… Well most reacted as they usually do when I bring up some strange concept. This results in funny looks, sometimes nervous laughter, and me being suddenly alone.
There you have it though, and I stand on my feelings.
Further note that when you have a man singing it (Like our Lord Frank’s version) all of this goes out the window.
So, for now, Happy Holidays!
...and stay tuned for my rantings on, "... For the Holidays you can't beat Home Sweet Home."
I'm sure you can just imagine where THAT one's gonna go!
Peace n' Love KNUCKLEHEADS! Now.... GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
Gee...I can't believe women aren't swarming after you...
ReplyDeleteSee -- I have more versions of this song sung by guys so, to me, the guy brought some corn for poppin'; which is typical guy behavior. Unless it gets shoved in the microwave, he doesn't know what to do with these kernel things. But, they're cheap and, hey, she a girl and it's her job to know what to do with raw grain.
So he's like, "Here. Now you can't say I always sponge off you by showing up at dinnertime. I brought some corn for poppin'. That's it. That's my contribution. Corn for poppin'. Got any beer?"
Oh, and the "fire is slowly dying" part? That's his way of telling her to throw another log on the fire.