German Fest of Mt. Olive, VA....

More like.... Over-rated, Dust-Fest with Shit Food and overpriced warm, lousy beer.

I understand that its the first event this organization has had at this location, and obviously there's bugs to be worked out. HOWEVER, you can not excuse poor food and drink.

Parking wasn't too much of a problem, and I'll chalk the $5.00 fee as a push, as there was no entrance fee for the grounds. There was enough staff to make sure you parked appropriately.

The day was warm (hot in the sun), and there was a large number of visitors, but no tents or shaded areas, unless you camped out next to wooded areas. The few tables that were there, were packed with people and sitting in direct sun. I didn't have a problem with any of that, but I'm sure some of the older visitors weren't too happy about it.

After arrival, the Old Guard Fife & Drum Corp were doing their thing. They were awesome. Kind gave me some hope for the event. Unfortunately, after they were finished, there was a brief interlude of really creepy German music, that instead of sounding festive, sounded more like it belonged in Das Boot down in the sub. (You had to see the movie to get that one.)

So Sis, Dirt and I got in line to get some food.... At the only vendor at the event. There was a long line, and after finally reaching the ordering area, things were a bit chaotic. The food that was there was sitting, and sitting; some looking pretty special. I went with the bratwurst with kraut, some beans and apples. Sis had the same. I'm not sure what Dirt was scarfing down, however.

While in the food line, I went over to get Sis and I a beer. $3.00 per little plastic mug, and $3.00 to fill it with beer. ... .... Which ened up being mildly cool, if not warm, Yuengling and only about 8 ounces (as half the little mug was all foamy head). That was it on the beer too. One location. Just Yuengling and Yuengling light.

So we grabbed a seat (on the ground in the sun) with our food and cup of warm beer. That's when I tried the brat. I don't think the putrid sausage ever saw a grill, and tasted like it was run under a hot water tap and served up. After almost gagging, I turned to Sis, who had a similar look on her face, and summed up the flavor as being like "eating a big ole nasty cow dick." Sis didn't eat anything else.It was just aweful food. The beans I had were hard, cold and very un-noteworthy. I don't know what they did to the poor apples, but they threw so much spicey shit all over them, I don't know what I was tasting. My plate ended up in the trash.

About the time I was chokin' down that bite of cow dick, the German band started up. Gotta give 'em credit. They were sure trying, but not many there could get in the spirit with the hot sun, inability to get a decent sized cold beer and a decent table and chair to sit at.

We all departed after a little over an hour there.

Was it worth it, you may ask?

Sure it was.

Because I could just drive down the road to Sis' and hang out. If I would have driven from Northern VA, or from where I live (for that matter) just FOR that event, I would say it would NOT have been worth it.

There was good times watching the Ole Guard and yackin on cow dick though. I won't be going back there in the future, however, unless I see them invite more (COMPETITIVE) food vendors and some decent cold beer.

Oh... and look... If someone came over to my blog by searching this event.... I really don't wanna hear your shit in defending that poor excuse for a Brewfest. It sucked. Suck it up and get it right next time.... and find someone who knows what real BBQ and German food is!

Now piss off!