Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sea Shepherd - What does this bunch accomplish?

From the first time I watched this mildly entertaining show, I felt like I was watching the Keystone Cops on the High Seas.
If you don't know the Animal Channel program Whale Wars, this may not be of any interest.

Basically, there's this ship that goes out into the Antarctic Ocean and tries to chase down Japanese whaling vessels. Then when they find one or more of them... shit goes south. Its a reality show, much like Deadliest Catch.

The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is neat enough. They seem to have a nice little organization going. Heck, I'd probably toss them some money if I was in a good enough mood. Until I saw Whale Wars, that is. I just couldn't see donating any serious money to a bunch of people that manage to screw up just about every small mission they attempt against the Japanese whale hunters.

They named the ship Steve Irwin, which is a neat tribute... if things ran a little smoother. I also never get sick of watching them answer the phone saying, "Steve Irwin." One of us usally yell or mutter, "No your not!" (The comedy goes with the show. Sort of like Rocky Horror.)
Don't get me wrong though. The crew is awesome. They're some really neat characters, and very passionate about their goals when working aboard Steve Irwin. I'd love to hang out on the ship with them and try to throw shit at whale boats. I just gotta wonder how effective all that misguided effort is on a full scale when compared to how much manpower and money is needed to carry it out.

They use tips and a helicopter to try to relocate the Japanese fleet (because they always lose them for whatever reason), then, if they manage to launch their smaller boats, bombard these huge ships... with.... stink bombs.

That'll show 'em!



The show has to drum up missing drama that usually falls terribly flat, and becomes embarassing. (Lately the crew is in serious contemplation over the Japanese having sound weapons. So we see somber, thought-provoking meetings and self reflection... while the ship doctor is cutting up foam for them to shove in their ears.) COME ONNNN!!!!

I could now go on and on and lampoon my favorite incidents, but then you could just go watch the show if you want.

... But... Just one more.... (This actually happens more than once.):



Uh oh! They find one of the various Maru ships. Everyone starts running around in a frenzy... even though you have to still close about 15 miles on it. Capt. Watson takes the helm. Ok. They're closing on the Japanese ship! They're piloting real close to the ship. Oh look! They turned and drove behind the Japanese ship! THEN BACK AGAIN!!! Man! They're puttin' it to them this time!!! Good sailin' Paul!!!

That's it.

It'd be really neat, if they added music, then showed the Japanese crew, like, laughing their asses off down in their galley or something.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I love the show, and hope I don't get anyone mad that's attached to Sea Sheperd. (I know how whacked out you volunteers get with your organizations.) Look at it this way. I'm helping my throngs of readers want to watch your show!

9 comments:

  1. Animal Planet or Animal Channel - whatever that thing is called. His poster says Animal Planet.

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  2. How about the episode where Capt got so close that the ships collided?! Sheesh, at least keep your crew alive, would ya? So you can keep hurling stinky butter at 'em. Heh.

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  3. Did you see where he got that dispatch from Norway (I think it was) where they told him he can't attack the ships with Steve Irwin anymore? Now all the attacks have to be with those mini-launches... You know... the ones they roll over 50% of the time before even departing from their ship?

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  4. I hadn't heard this...but I have seen them roll the "dingies" into the frigid seas, dumping crew members with them and battling hypothermia. A good episode could be made out of stringing all of their mishaps together and running it on fast forward. Good stuff.

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  5. Isn't that what reality shows are: fabricated drama that usually falls flat or is totally lame? Isn't that because most of reality is, when left to itself, mostly boring, run-of-the-mill stuff?

    What's that? You're sick of hearing me deliver the same diatribe on the quality of your television viewing? You're going to throw something at my head?

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  6. I dunno Sis... When I watch Deadliest Catch, for instance, these guys are pretty captivating, to me, because it's such an interesting atmosphere; it's people messing w. nature extremes. The characters are really interesting. I guess people who watch shows like COPS may feel the same way... getting off on craziness from a distance... Vicariously!!! (Watching COPS for me is like when you have a drudgingly hated dream that won't stop... Like having to remember the combo to your locker and you're late for class, etc.) But these guys riding around on Steve Irwin?... Maybe that's what keeps people watching... You know, "How much can they mess up this week?" All I see is huge amounts of money going down the tubes and nothing at all showing for it. More moronic American-type thinking.

    Then... there's the pure shit like Big Brother. Lordy!!!

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  7. There's real reality shows and there's forced "reality" shows (Big Brother, Amazing Race, Apprentice, Survivor, etc, etc). I hate to think DG and I may be sitting on the same side of the table on something. ;-)

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