Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Watch, The Bitch and The Battery

This is actually a continuing saga. Apparently (as is predictable) I end up with a watch that takes some rare alien battery size. Repeated attempts at CVS and Rite Aid have been uneventful.

CVS even suggested I visit Anderson’s Corner (the local rip-off jeweler) when I visited them the first time and they appeared out of the one I needed. I drove there practicing lines I would use in case that same old guy I dealt with last time said, “Did you try Anderson’s Corner like I told you two weeks ago?” or “Why don’t you try Anderson’s Corner?”

“Well, because I’m in HERE trying to buy it! Perhaps I don’t care for Anderson’s Corner! Perhaps one of the employees ran over my son while he was riding his bike through town! Perhaps I got a skin disease off their toilets once!!! Now just sell me the fucking battery if you have it!!!”

They didn’t.

He wasn’t even there. No one said anything to me. That lifted my spirits some.

I hit the local Rite Aid next. I didn’t expect to find it there, and wasn’t let down in my expectations.

Still unwilling to succumb to local pressures, I hit the internet. Duracell’s site didn’t seem to have the battery, though I found a cross reference… So I called them.

They, like every computer company, also seem to have support over in the Middle East. I could hardly get the receptionist to understand the numbers I was giving her.

HELLO?!!! Isn’t this business sort of fucking DEPENDANT on their staff being very thorough with numbers?!!!

I think I got through to her and was then put on hold. I can’t even picture this lady doing anything with my information. I still don’t think she understood me!

Oh… but I was waiting on hold! If I was still sitting here at 9:00 at night… I wasn’t hanging up (as long as the connection remained).

She did come back…. 12 minutes later.

She said something like, “I’m sorry sir, but we find no record of this.” (Add a really thick accent, and poor volume.) I think those were her words. I really couldn’t tell you. I just know she didn’t find any relevant information for me.

So irritated I say, “Oooo K. So Duracell doesn’t have any idea what crosses with their own battery. (pause… no reply… some noises… what? … was she having sex over there or what?) Fine. Ok. Look.. Thanks. Goodbye.” I could hear her finally saying something as I was hanging up the phone.

I went back to the WEB and finally found some crazy jeweler site that had a Ray O Vac battery that matched the crossed numbers.

I ordered it. We’ll see if it works in a week or so.

Jeweler wanted $15.00 to put one in (at Sears, 2 years ago.) The cost online was $2.80.

… Yeah I’m paying shipping, but it’s the point! It still only came to $10.98 total.

Product support! Come ONNNNNN!!!!!!

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