...and all the B O C dorks sing...

B.O.C.You can be whatever you want to be
You got the power, we got the key
Yeah, B.O.C.

You're a rebel and you got no friends
We all know that it all depends
On rock and roll

Do you feel like they're keeping you down
Ain't no fun with your feet on the ground
So let go
Let go let go let go

B.O.C.
You can be whatever you want to be
You got the power, we got the key
Yeah,
B.O.C.

Schwinn, Pump, Worthless PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Schwinn Quality?

Well reader(s), here’s another probably useless review of a totally random object that has come across my path.

Note that the last one was Summer Oreo cookies, which I spared you the review of and went straight to the source. Mainly because I like Oreo cookies and all of those by Nabisco, however… When you start tasting dye in the tasty cookie cream I think someone oughta say something. (It still boggles me that NO ONE in quality control could taste the blue dye.)

BUT!... That’s water under the bridge. (Another saying I hear a lot, which I have discovered REALLY means -> “Water under the bridge which-I’m-really-falsly-saying-just-to-appease-you..."

As my bird says daily, “FUCK-A-YOU!!!”

Where was I?

OH yes… Schwinn…

So I go to Walmart (because I still go there with the theory that I can’t beat them) and get what I thought was a high end bicycle pump.

Schwinn.

Can’t beat it. Right?

The FUCK!!!

All around pump w. a guage and a 5-in-1 nozzle! HELLS YEAH! RIGHT?!

WRONG!!!!!!

I get this bad-boy all unpacked and attempt to blow up a mutha-fuckin’ riding mower tire (OH! HEY! DEAR {and undear} READERS… THE WHOLE RIDING MOWER STORY IS ANOTHER ONE WORTH WRITING ABOUT SOME DAY… W. MUCH MIRTH FOR ALL!)

RIGHT… so where was I?... … … … AHH! Right!...

So I get this SCHWINN TOP OF THE MUTHA-FUCKIN’ LINE PUMP out… and the sum-bitch has more fucking garbage to deal with than unpacking a mutha’ fuckin’ refrigerator from mutha’ fuckin’ Lowes or wherever!!!

I had to tear this bitch apart 15 ways to the apocalypse and back and NEVER got it to work right!

You know that stupid fucking lever you gotta bend over to lock on your mutha’fuckin’ bike wheel so you can pump it up? (Think back to when you were able to be or think like a kid and had a bike.) Well on this high dollar SCHWINN (with QUALITY!) pump, this stupid lever did nothing. NOTHING!

The entire workings (which here means where the air-giving-nozzle hits the air deprived hole) come apart in pieces, and no matter HOW you put them back together (YEAH I SAW YOUR WORTHLESS FUCKING DIAGRAM!) it doesn’t work correctly!!!

SO! Because it’s my fucking space in nothing-that-matters-at-all, I hereby proclaim that SCHWINN’s bike pump with the 5-IN-1 NOZZLE sucks my ever loving, now tanned, SACK!!!!!!!

PISS OFF SCHWINN!!!! SEE IF I BUY ONE OF YOUR FUCKING SECOND RATE FUCKING BIKES AGAIN!

The rest of you… GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!

"Ish" and Will Ferrell

So the Snowboyz have graduated and are moving on. The following day they headed off for Ocean City for a celebration week. From the stories I've been told thus far, there is one that remains epic (for me anyway).

Though the boyz chose not to take the liberty of drinking (alcohol), their friend "Ish" did. No big deal, right? I mean, like, no surprise or anything. Ya know... 4 guys and 5 girls in a condo for a week... You sort of expect some shit to go down.

There was a share of drama of course. (5 girls, remember?)

The epic story, however, was "Ish" and Will Ferrell.

Now usually (almost always) I refuse to pass along any type of anecdote that I am not a part of experiencing. However, this one struck me funny enough to pass along.

"Ish" is obviously not a drinker at all. Was never into it, and is most definitely not into it now (nor in the foreseeable future). His first encounter with the liquid beast had many a vacationer cracking up.

After imbibing for a time, "Ish" eventually reached that point many a drinker has reached. That blacking out phase combined with the throwing-up-all-over-the-place phase. In the midst of being sick, and vacating all the poisonous fluids, "Ish" had visions. Visions of Will Ferrell.

Yes, out of all the things that could have happened, that could have been seen, heard or experienced during his time of complete inebriation... It was Will Ferrell that chose to visit him. He spoke not a word, but hung out for quite a long time... in the following manner: He placed himself in a painting for some time, staring vacantly. A miniature Will Ferrell at one point did lie upon the chest of "Ish." Yes! Upon the chest of "Ish" he did lie! Alas, and the final location was the trash can in which "Ish" did spew within.

Upon his disappearance "Ish" was heard to exclaim, "Hey! Will Ferrell! Where'd you go?!!"

Distraught over his absence, "Ish" commenced to beating up on the couch for a period of time, and then upon the very trash can which had previously contained Will.

In what might have been a moment of clarity... There was only "Ish".... and the expended contents of his digestive system staring back at him from the depths of the can before him.

There was no voice... There was no body.... And the man they called Will was silent.