Leaking? See Whoopi make a bigger ass of herself than The View!

My god.

I just saw a fucking commercial about Whoopi Goldberg's leaky vagina.

Holy shit.

I'm damaged (more), and speechless.

Donald Trump - 2012

Should Trump run? Damn right! Click here and give him your support.

What does THIS mean?!!!

As you know, the past few days have been busy up at Hell House. There's been a lot of turmoil out in the back yard. I had been hearing rumors from The Voice Of Morgan Freeman that Hosni Mubarak might have showed up in the back yard, but couldn't confirm it.

There's been a strong smell of shit, cumin and lamb coming from the back yard and woods the past few days. There's been periods during the night when I swore I've also heard some sort of chanting. I'm sure I'll know more this weekend.

However.... This morning... delicately positioned upon my outside deck table.... the following picture. America. I, for one, am scared.

Somebody get me Beck on the phone! NOW!

New To The "Back Yard!" Caliphate!

Vibes, karma and all that partying with tea... It can lead to shit, ya know?


Somehow, in all the insanity up here at Hell-House... It seems I now have a Caliphate organizing out in the woods behind the house.



I don't know what's going on out there, but last night Billy Zane is banging on my window wanting to talk. Scared the shit outta me! I yelled at him, "Go away Billy Zane! Get away from my window! Ya hear?!!" This went on for a few minutes. He'd keep knocking and I'd keep yelling at him to get back in the woods. Finally he seemed to realize I wouldn't talk to him at 3 in the morning and he went away sulking toward the back yard.



So this morning I'm trying to get to work, and there he is waiting on me. He started ranting about the Caliphate being out in woods out back and they're all worked up and causing unrest, plus they're running out of room and stuff... I had to break him off. (I HAD to get to work! I didn't have time for his antics. Come on! You know how he gets.)



So I quickly met with The Voice Of Morgan Freeman who was contentedly in place, who did firmly relate that there was indeed a Caliphate gathering, but not to worry, and everything was fine.



I just don't know... I headed off to work... Billy Zane took off running toward the populous... and I had to go to work. Life goes on right?

Bring Out Your Dead!!!

"…trying to bury their dead."

Now I’ll give you this much (and for some of the blind, I’ll WARN YOU), that our country is in some really serious trouble.
However… I’m just thinking… that whenever you hear commentary that includes the verbiage, “…trying to bury their dead,” shit has GOT to be really fucked up beyond anything we want to experience.

I was just sitting here, hanging out, trying to do anything with my blog to keep it up to date (with what I had NO idea), and I heard that line on some news blip, that I still haven't heard since.

It struck me that it was uttered with the same emphasis that one would suggest we purchase a softer toilet tissue to clean our ass with, or whether or not I wanna step on a Sham-Wow when I get out of the shower… or chop shit up with a SlapChop (you’re gonna love my nuts).

So in that context I now have a dilemma of three things:
1. Where do I bury “THE DEAD?” (Oh man… Plural!)
2. What tissue do I clean my ass with?
3. Do I really need to worship a guy named Vince, and all that he has to offer?

How in the hell did this become an equally enthusiastic question in my life?!

We’re talking about the disposal of multiple corpses and not having a location available that subsequently warrants the question of where to put them!... AND!.... Whatdaya wipe yo’ ass with?... AND!!!... Am I gonna love Vince’s nuts? I don’t want to love Vince’s nuts!!! I got a pile of fucking dead people here! I ain’t got time for Vince's fucking nuts!

So, mayhap I’m just looking at things in a strange perspective, or perhaps a perspective that is being ushered unto us all for undo equal consideration.

Where the hell are we heading?

I’m viewing a commercial now where a fucking reptile is telling me to let him insure my driving because he’s pop-culture. That was followed by a credit card company wanting me to go into debt for a shit load of Vikings and a singing fucking goat!

We have GOT to be the laughing stock of the fucking world.

…and I have NO idea where that fucking poor sap is supposed to bury their dead!

Hmm... My Blog Pic

My blog pic is freaking me out.

I realized I've been staying away from my own blog because of it.

I must contemplate this for awhile.

.... Then I'll probably have enough sense to change the picture to something else.

Glenn Beck with a visiting Billy Zane or Billy Mays perhaps is sounding good.

We'll see.

Jeff Probst DID Fart... I am SO sorry Jeff.

...but that shit was SO fucking funny!!!

Luckily, I had it all on HDTV and on my DVR so it could be reviewed countless times.

Ok... For anyone who is in the dark...
On the final Survivor this season, Jeff is interviewing Terry Bradshaw, and in the midst of the interview (this part of the show was live), you can see discomfort on Jeff's face... His jaw starts to tighten, his lips purse, and then he lets a lil audible POOT fly.
HOLY SHIT! It was so funny!!! Right as the poot goes off, his eyes wince shut as well.

The follow up reactions of Jeff and Jimmy I believe verify this act further.

Jeff let one fly on live TV, and it was fucking hiliarious. Needed the laugh.

Luckily, I also saved the DVR of it (and will for awhile).

I am pretty sorry I posted this, as the poor fucker probably really had to let one loose to go and do it on live TV, however, I've been through some pretty fucking uncomfortable shit in my day as well, and I'm not getting paid shit loads of money for it... sooooo... Laugh it up!