Sunday, April 10, 2011

Memories of The Taylor Pork Roll Grill

The memories of my childhood seem to be somewhat skewed, as is often pointed out by others. (cough… Linguiniandjohnboy!) However, for good or bad, I thought I’d touch on a favorite of mine; brought on because I purchased some pork meat.

Atlantic City didn’t have any casinos back then, and I’m sure it wasn’t even an unrealized idea. In looking back I guess it was a sad time for the boardwalk as everything around it was aging and dying off. There was a new time rolling in that would eventually be swallowed up by the mega-casinos now overpowering every square inch of the boards.


The late 60’s and very early 70’s still kept a great flavor up and down the boardwalk for a lot of us. One of my favorite places was the Taylor Pork Roll grill. I don’t remember where it was, but the smell and atmosphere left many of us with memories that will last more than a lifetime.


Many times I remember going into the grill and getting a nice hot Taylor Pork Roll sandwich, fresh off the flames and an ice cold root beer. WIth that kind of a combo, man, you are in heaven. Sometimes we’d sit inside on cushioned barrel type chairs, or we’d carry our eats out onto the boardwalk, where any dropped crumb was immediately devoured by stalking gulls or people-friendly pigeons.


The interior was dark woods and brick. It was very comforting and smelled delicious. The only thing you could smell inside was the grilling.


Outside, the moms and dads all looked swell with their truly happy kids surrounding them. Smiling and laughing they would go by dripping ice cream from overstuff cones or leaving a trail of peanut shells as they shared a freshly roasted bag from the Mr. Peanut store. The air was intoxicating with smells of the sea, boardwalk and roasting pork roll. The ocean’s roar the cynical scream of the gulls and the sound of the pork roll grill all combined to complete this simple event.


All of that was brought to those of us lucky enough to experience it because of Taylor Pork Roll, which was(is?) a staple in New Jersey board of fare.


Probably right here I would have posted a picture of the infamous grill, if I could have found one. Alas, my internet searching came up short. So if anyone out there has a picture or a link to one, it would sure be appreciated and would fit right in.


Taylor Pork Roll is a treat you never get sick of, and it remains a shame that it is hard to find it in our area. There is just something about peeling off the burlap casing to slice off a few pieces to fry up.


I don’t know when they started packaging it like the following, but this is what Taylor Pork Roll is reducing itself to look like in present times:



That’s my brief recollection and how I like to remember it. I shall now look forward to Linguini telling me something like, “You know we only took you there once, and you threw up on some kid with an ice cream cone right after you ate. That was the trip where a gull shit on pa’s shirt and you pitched a fit because you didn’t get some toy.”

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Leaking? See Whoopi make a bigger ass of herself than The View!

My god.

I just saw a fucking commercial about Whoopi Goldberg's leaky vagina.

Holy shit.

I'm damaged (more), and speechless.

Friday, February 18, 2011

What does THIS mean?!!!

As you know, the past few days have been busy up at Hell House. There's been a lot of turmoil out in the back yard. I had been hearing rumors from The Voice Of Morgan Freeman that Hosni Mubarak might have showed up in the back yard, but couldn't confirm it.
There's been a strong smell of shit, cumin and lamb coming from the back yard and woods the past few days. There's been periods during the night when I swore I've also heard some sort of chanting. I'm sure I'll know more this weekend.

However.... This morning... delicately positioned upon my outside deck table.... the following picture. America. I, for one, am scared.


Somebody get me Beck on the phone! NOW!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

New To The "Back Yard!" Caliphate!

Vibes, karma and all that partying with tea... It can lead to shit, ya know?


Somehow, in all the insanity up here at Hell-House... It seems I now have a Caliphate organizing out in the woods behind the house.



I don't know what's going on out there, but last night Billy Zane is banging on my window wanting to talk. Scared the shit outta me! I yelled at him, "Go away Billy Zane! Get away from my window! Ya hear?!!" This went on for a few minutes. He'd keep knocking and I'd keep yelling at him to get back in the woods. Finally he seemed to realize I wouldn't talk to him at 3 in the morning and he went away sulking toward the back yard.



So this morning I'm trying to get to work, and there he is waiting on me. He started ranting about the Caliphate being out in woods out back and they're all worked up and causing unrest, plus they're running out of room and stuff... I had to break him off. (I HAD to get to work! I didn't have time for his antics. Come on! You know how he gets.)



So I quickly met with The Voice Of Morgan Freeman who was contentedly in place, who did firmly relate that there was indeed a Caliphate gathering, but not to worry, and everything was fine.



I just don't know... I headed off to work... Billy Zane took off running toward the populous... and I had to go to work. Life goes on right?