Get Out Of My Drink!

"Why put devil against devil for most? Go all in!"

Please don't ask, because I don't have an answer.

Dollar General - Customer Service

Follow up on True Living by Dollar General.

Ta'rooooo Livinnnnn' !!! Yeah, baby!

Actually received a reply from my legitimate complaint I filed. One quick reply from Dollar General Customer Service. They wanted the UPC code from the bag. When I explained the bag was burned I received no further reply. I did also add that I would buy another bag if they'd like and try it again just for the fun value. (I couldn't help it. Sarcasm. Thank my sister for it.)

I figure it may also have been possible that someone may have connected may oh-so-popular blog and linked it to my complaint.

No, I don't think that's unlikely. I mean, what else are they doing over at Dollar General? Its certainly not in their Human Resources Department, and most definitely not in Quality Control. Low prices to the economically targeted areas = SHIT all the way around.

...and the super stores a lot of us depend on now, like an adult diaper, are not too far off this mark either.

???!!!! Yeah... That... That didn't work... I don't wear a diaper.

Dollar General, True Living, Charcoal ... FUUUCK!

Ok …friends(snicker) acquaintances and the curious who find their way here, it’s time for another round of Darkgarden vs. The Corporation-Who-Is-Begging-For-It!!!

Dollar General – True Living – Charcoal.

I already realize that those of you who know me are already asking, “What the fuck are you doing using some under-rated charcoal to do your grilling/bbqing with anyway?!”

I have learned to always give the no-name stuff a try from time to time; especially the up and coming items who are striving for perfection. However, in this case I also learned that sometime you end up with what you pay for (which is the best percentage to play, but putting it up against a small investment change, I thought I’d take the dive).

I gotta tell you knuckleheads out there, I sometimes try not to bash something into the ground with ridiculous shock-value type language and descriptions, and in this case I was especially trying not to make the blog entry go that way. (Because FUCK knows I sure don’t want to go offending my single digit number of readers who probably mainly read my blog as one visits a freak show! You common sonsobitches! SHIT!... See?! See?!!! See what happens?! It is the fault of you all!!! PISS OFF!!! .. Wait. .. Not yet… Wait for it…)

Anyway… Dollar General – True Living – Charcoal.

I would have had a picture of the bag, but I thought someone would have a pic online I could grab, and the one bag I had (which has been with me for about a year) finally met its demise in flames out back.

I wrote to Dollar General about this particular True Living release of theirs. Face it. We know who the target buyer is for these items. I won’t mention it here, because it opens things up for all sorts of jagoff rebuttals, but you fucknutz who read me regularly know the deal. The stranger to the site would also be amiss if they didn’t realize the aggressive language is not geared to the reader, but to the subject at which I point this hostility at (of which I cannot seem to control.)

The basic point here?

Dollar General – True Living – Charcoal smells and tastes like you cooked your food (any type… I literally tried several types because I couldn’t fucking believe what I was experiencing!) in a pile of long, slow burning aged tires that have been previously soaked in the juice of large, decomposing mammals for about a year. Now, that is a description used in the nicest way I can put it. The tires would have to be soaking in the bodily fluids in a large sealed container, but only at about a constant temperature of 70 degrees. Now, if some drunk security guard happened by the bins, barrels, containers or whatever it was aging in, and happened to vomit the entire contents of a huge meal of pizza and boxed wine… that would fit in just fine. Take the delicately seasoned tire and light that bitch on fire. Get it good and smokey. Place that nice $15.00 rack-o-mutha-fuckin’-ribs on it and ENJOY!!!

THANKS DOLLAR GENERAL!!! YOU SHO’ DO A FINE JOB FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS!!!
YOU COMMON FUCKS! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!... umm.. you too readers… PISS OFF!

BBQ Nightmare

I was preparing to post the events of the July 4th Celebration (from July 3rd), when... a nightmare occured. It was like the tail end of Avalon I tell ya'!

THE GRILL caught on fire. My first instinct... Grab a fuckin' camera. (Thanks Sis!) Only, I couldn't find it (and as is usual, was right in front of me in a place that is not assigned for the placement of a camera... THUS my rationale for putting everything in a certain location is now bolstered!)

So anyway... I go onto the deck and there's flames flying everywhere around THE GRILL which has seen so many masterpieces in its day! After not finding a camera and getting sickened by the sounds of burning "stuff" (paint, wood and such things that you don't want to see cooked on a grill) I decided to grab water in the coffee pot which so recently had housed an awesome batch of Cafe con leche. (2 pots actually; of water.)

THE GRILL lives, but the trauma lives. THE GRILL, however, now carries more of a scarred look, like an old soldier that has seen one too many close-quarter fights.

I give you... THE GRILL... photographed just after the FIRE OF 2011!

Sign In Bull Shit

Yo!

Blogger!

What the FUCK is with the fucked up sign in?

If someone wants to hack my shit... Let them have at it. I figure I accomplished my mission in having some fuck-wad waste his/her time in entering the Darkgarden. Yes... Just like our fucking government... lets give you MORE simulated control over my shit.

Fuck-nutz.

The Day Before... July 2nd...