Sea Shepherd - What does this bunch accomplish?

From the first time I watched this mildly entertaining show, I felt like I was watching the Keystone Cops on the High Seas.

If you don't know the Animal Channel program Whale Wars, this may not be of any interest.

Basically, there's this ship that goes out into the Antarctic Ocean and tries to chase down Japanese whaling vessels. Then when they find one or more of them... shit goes south. Its a reality show, much like Deadliest Catch.

The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is neat enough. They seem to have a nice little organization going. Heck, I'd probably toss them some money if I was in a good enough mood. Until I saw Whale Wars, that is. I just couldn't see donating any serious money to a bunch of people that manage to screw up just about every small mission they attempt against the Japanese whale hunters.

They named the ship Steve Irwin, which is a neat tribute... if things ran a little smoother. I also never get sick of watching them answer the phone saying, "Steve Irwin." One of us usally yell or mutter, "No your not!" (The comedy goes with the show. Sort of like Rocky Horror.)

Don't get me wrong though. The crew is awesome. They're some really neat characters, and very passionate about their goals when working aboard Steve Irwin. I'd love to hang out on the ship with them and try to throw shit at whale boats. I just gotta wonder how effective all that misguided effort is on a full scale when compared to how much manpower and money is needed to carry it out.

They use tips and a helicopter to try to relocate the Japanese fleet (because they always lose them for whatever reason), then, if they manage to launch their smaller boats, bombard these huge ships... with.... stink bombs.

That'll show 'em!

"Go back to Japan or we shall taunt you a second time!"

The show has to drum up missing drama that usually falls terribly flat, and becomes embarassing. (Lately the crew is in serious contemplation over the Japanese having sound weapons. So we see somber, thought-provoking meetings and self reflection... while the ship doctor is cutting up foam for them to shove in their ears.) COME ONNNN!!!!

I could now go on and on and lampoon my favorite incidents, but then you could just go watch the show if you want.

... But... Just one more.... (This actually happens more than once.):

Uh oh! They find one of the various Maru ships. Everyone starts running around in a frenzy... even though you have to still close about 15 miles on it. Capt. Watson takes the helm. Ok. They're closing on the Japanese ship! They're piloting real close to the ship. Oh look! They turned and drove behind the Japanese ship! THEN BACK AGAIN!!! Man! They're puttin' it to them this time!!! Good sailin' Paul!!!

That's it.

It'd be really neat, if they added music, then showed the Japanese crew, like, laughing their asses off down in their galley or something.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I love the show, and hope I don't get anyone mad that's attached to Sea Sheperd. (I know how whacked out you volunteers get with your organizations.) Look at it this way. I'm helping my throngs of readers want to watch your show!

If you'd like to donate to the Sea Sheperd (insert Ted Levine/Silence Of The Lambs chuckle), please visit this link and help them out. .... They really need it.

Don't fear...

Michael Jackson On Tour Forever!

I had to write this one down.

I've got MSNBC on while working; casually watching what they're doing to further torture this poor guy.

So the reporter is doing interviews along the street at the fans (or whatever most of these freaks are), and here's the exact quote:

“I don’t know if his coffin is even coming. That would be IN-SANE! (with thick California-girl accent) I was talking to a friend…”

It was only a matter of time... Thank you Sisiggy!!!

Usually my long and detailed dreams in the morning hours reflect something relating to my job. Because of a really good day on Thursday, however, my work stress level dropped real low for a day. This left a gap in my rigid dream sequence creating a vacuum.

Occasionally these vacuums are often filled with really weird feeling dreams of back home.

I present to you, that which my SISTER is responsible for!!!

I am back home in the back yard, and the feeling is both pleasant (for being back home) and disturbing (because this visit is dim and almost colorless, it is dying slowly, it is lonely). Our patio was there, but barren of any furnishings or items. The flanking flower beds contained nothing but dead, gray dirt. Old grave dirt. A hammock flanked the longest section of flower bed, and in the hammock was our mother, but though intact, she was reminiscent of the rest of the yard. There was no interaction and no sound. There was hardly any movement... save... the bird.

There was what seemed to be a dead bird lying in the vacant flower bed, and my essence slowly closed in on it from behind. I reached out to stroke its feathers lightly and sickly realized it was still alive. It was dying. It slowly started crawling forward, and became the only thing to acknowledge me in this dream... It was the mutant bird, only he was twice as large, and he was dying and crawling slowly.

I had had enough and woke myself up. Feeling a bit sick and a little ill at ease I made a mental note to remember all of it so I could SHARE IT!!!

I gotta go now and hang with my new buddy in my back yard.